RAMALLAH, West Bank -- On first glance, the city of Ramallah in the West Bank appears boring: conservative and chaste. Most women wear headscarves and quickly avert their eyes when men are watching. There is nothing flirtatious about the gesture. In the course of discussions with Palestinian youngsters, however, one discovers that they live in two worlds: they are entirely familiar with 2007 high tech. But at the same time, their lives are marked by a 1,500-year-old culture that is resistant to globalization. Because satellite television has brought modernity into their homes, the youngsters are continually anxious about committing sin if they should follow their natural urges too soon.
Sheikh Fahmi Jaradat praises the prudishness of the Palestinian youth. He is a judge on the Islamic court and he explains without any ambiguity how young unmarried people are supposed to deal with their sexuality: "All physical contact is prohibited outside of marriage." Marriage was created by Allah to preserve the family and the highest goal of every couple must be "reproduction," as the Sheikh puts it. The satisfaction of sexual desire, he says sternly, is not the goal of marriage.
To begin my investigations in this city in which sex is only allowed to be a means to "reproduction," I strike up a conversation with a young man. He is hanging out in Manara Square: a kind of Palestinian Piccadilly Circus, only much smaller. Mohanin is 26-years-old and unemployed. The briefcase that he is carrying is filled with CVs: he is looking for a job. Without a job, he explains to me, he cannot afford to get married. Since he tells me that he does not have a girlfriend, I indiscreetly ask about his sex life. "I am learning to be patient," he responds shyly. Playing sports helps: After a game of soccer or a swim, for instance, he says he feels better. The young women in the area will not make it easy for him, he says. If a girl has the impression that her boyfriend has no regular income and no prospect of getting married, she breaks off the relationship. "Caressing, let along anything more" -- he laughs in embarrassment -- "is out of the question. Every respectable woman, after all, wants to be a virgin when she gets married."
Even for those who have enough money, getting married is not a simple matter -- as I discover by talking to the 25-year-old Suheb, whom I meet in an ice cream parlor. He wants to marry his cousin. She is six years younger than he is and he has known her since childhood. "We are in love," he says. In the meantime, they are engaged and they can see one another without having to have a third person around as chaperone. They can even hug and kiss now. Sleeping together, however, is excluded: "She has to retain her virginity until we are married." A pregnancy outside of marriage could prove to be life-threatening for his girlfriend: "Her family would kill her."
Such fears are justified. In the last year alone, Palestinian authorities have recorded some sixty cases of "honor killings": women killed because they were accused of having "immoral" sexual relationships. The victims are strangled or struck dead with a hammer. In order to benefit from the milder sentences for minors, a younger brother will often be chosen by the family to carry out the deed. But Palestinian law also shows clemency toward adult murderers: The perpetrators of "honor killings" spend as little time in prison as chicken thieves.
Unmistakable Signals
Suheb has a job: He works for the Palestinian government in Ramallah in an office that organizes protests against the Israeli wall and settlements. He had not been paid for months -- "you know, the West and Israel are boycotting the Hamas government" -- but now the government in the West Bank is solvent and he has money in the bank again.
"So why not get going and get married?" I suggest. According to tradition, it is not possible yet, he explains. There are four steps in all that have to be completed before a marriage can be consummated. First, the family of the groom must formally ask for the bride's hand in marriage. If the two families are mutually agreed, then a religious judge comes to them and reads aloud from the Quran. From this point on, the young couple is man and wife as far as Islamic law is concerned. But sex is only permitted once the whole town has been invited to a celebration and notified that the two young people now belong together. The husband-to-be also buys jewelry for his prospective wife. Suheb has spent the equivalent of 1,500 euros. That is a lot of money, he says: "But if she wasn't my cousin, it would have been even more expensive."
Suheb introduces me to one of his buddies: Hussein. Hussein studied architecture in Hebron and now he works as a bartender in a fitness club, since he has not been able to find any other work. Suheb recommended that I speak to Hussein, since he "knows the scene": He listens to the conversations at the bar and knows what is going on in Ramallah.
Next Page: Hussein has lost faith in women . . .
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